We See Only What We Need To

Sometimes the whole sorted details are right in front of you, but it's true what they say...love blinds. She called me one hot summer evening from her store where she was the Manger. She told me she had to do a "change over" of the store that included window and floor displays. This usually took most of the evening all the way up to 2 or 3am. Being the dutiful husband and father I told her not to worry I'll feed the kids, HW, etc. About a five minutes after I hung up I called back to remind her to bring me home some of my favorite treats from the store. Rrrrrrrrrrrringgg, rrrrrrrrrrrrrring no answer. Now that's strange. Why wouldn’t someone answer the phone if her and her crew would be there all 3am? It was at that moment I felt; I knew something just felt wrong. The moment I chose to open my eyes. Even better, to prove to my eyes what unconsciously I probably already knew.
I decided to immediately take a trip to the city to "surprise" her. I'll never forget the darkness of the store when turned the corner from the subway. I remember thinking, my marriage is over.

A week later while on the computer, I right clicked by accident and was somewhat confused why a whole new document appeared with the greeting, "My Love. Gee, I don't remember getting a love letter. As I read on further however, there was the explanation of those missing hours a week ago. The store was completely dark and so was the room where she said f-you to our marriage of 12 years.

There it was in black and white. Irrefutable. No explanation needed. Can't rationalize it away this time. The heartache had started again, and you know, time helps, but it never really ends. I've concluded that we spoon feed ourselves small doses of pain, just enough to keep our sanity.

Silence Hates Cheaters

Five years ago and after 12 years of marriage, I found out that my now ex-wife was cheating on me…again. Yes, I forgave her the 1st time; after all, we had 5 kids to tend to. So, I left and then found out soon after that our last child(then 3yrs old) was not mine. I discovered that there had been one or two guys sticking their d**s in and out of my marriage for years. Devastated, embarrassed, and alone, instead of going ballistic, I played it cool. I did the civil thing and led with my head and not my heart. One wrong move and it could get ugly, nasty and, not to mention, expensive. In essence, I suffered in silence. I did the sensible thing, but I never really got to release all the pent-up pain and anger.

But you know what? F*** that sh**. No more…enough!! I created this blog for all those Men and Women out there who are suffering in silence right this minute. Too scared, confused, torn up inside or whatever to scream. For those too smart to punch, kick, cut stab, bludgeoned or shoot to kill. I know you wanna do it too. Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhh! For those who have to deal with the unfair and one sided child support system. I want you to use this blog to scream out, shout out , get the pain out. Don’t go to bed night after night like I did. Tormented, fighting the urge to do some crazy sh**. Respond to this post if you’re one of those who still have to deal with that a**hole, that the mention of their name makes you physically ill. Respond and release all the pain their selfish, self-absorbed, insensitive actions have caused you. The kind of pain no one else dear try to tell you any sh** about.
Some of you, due to circumstances, may still have to continue to deal with all the lies, cheating, double-crossing, shifty, sneaky, two-timing, untrustworthy, wicked, SOB for the good of…. Tell your story. SPEAK. SPEAK LOUD, and let those bastards hear your voice up and down their street… THE PHILANDER’S STREET.