We See Only What We Need To

Sometimes the whole sorted details are right in front of you, but it's true what they say...love blinds. She called me one hot summer evening from her store where she was the Manger. She told me she had to do a "change over" of the store that included window and floor displays. This usually took most of the evening all the way up to 2 or 3am. Being the dutiful husband and father I told her not to worry I'll feed the kids, HW, etc. About a five minutes after I hung up I called back to remind her to bring me home some of my favorite treats from the store. Rrrrrrrrrrrringgg, rrrrrrrrrrrrrring no answer. Now that's strange. Why wouldn’t someone answer the phone if her and her crew would be there all 3am? It was at that moment I felt; I knew something just felt wrong. The moment I chose to open my eyes. Even better, to prove to my eyes what unconsciously I probably already knew.
I decided to immediately take a trip to the city to "surprise" her. I'll never forget the darkness of the store when turned the corner from the subway. I remember thinking, my marriage is over.

A week later while on the computer, I right clicked by accident and was somewhat confused why a whole new document appeared with the greeting, "My Love. Gee, I don't remember getting a love letter. As I read on further however, there was the explanation of those missing hours a week ago. The store was completely dark and so was the room where she said f-you to our marriage of 12 years.

There it was in black and white. Irrefutable. No explanation needed. Can't rationalize it away this time. The heartache had started again, and you know, time helps, but it never really ends. I've concluded that we spoon feed ourselves small doses of pain, just enough to keep our sanity.